Did I ever expect to be gone for this long? Definitely not.

5 years – ok technically it’s 1,565 days or 4 years 3 months and 12 days if the online days calculator does its job correctly 😛

So what happened? Well, the number 5 key on my laptop broke (and especially for those who can type Chinese in Zhuyin – I bet you can imagine how PAINFUL that is 😥

On a more serious note, a lot did happen in the last couple years. After all, I love writing. My number one dream as a kid growing up has always been to become a writer/blogger (along with other bubbly dreams like becoming a barista at Starbucks, owning a cafe/bakery and drawing comics down the line :D) . The point is, for someone who loves writing to not write for such a long time…it was like a part of you being gone.

To me, writing is story-telling. Writing is how I feel the most comfortable in expressing myself (without caring if there is any reader 🐻 ). But it was only until one day I found myself sitting in front of my laptop without any word flowing between my fingers had I realized that to be able to write, to be a natural story-teller, I need the passion and love for life and people. So yes, I found myself losing my essential fuel to write.

I found myself sick and was on hormonal medication for a year and in the process I also started to battle against insomnia. For someone who could easily sleep for 10+ hours a day, I started to operate with less than 20 hours sleep in total each week. Not to mention the additional stress and burden coming from external incidents that involved people and work, I found my world becoming colorless all in a sudden. I lost my faith and my interest in people, things and to my own surprise, many aspects of life. Professionally or medically speaking though, I was perfectly “normal” as doctors couldn’t find anything wrong with me other than the physical symptoms I was getting the medical treatment for.

The only reason why I wanted to share briefly about this experience was because even though I don’t know if anyone is ever going to read this, I just wanted to make the point across that if you feel you are somehow facing invisible desperation — you are not alone. You don’t need to be diagnosed with depression for your universe to fall apart. I am not going to go further about the dark valleys I went through. The fact that I am back finding my fingers flying across my [new* bluetooth*]  keyboard after all these years tells you the outcome of my battle. If there is anything I could humbly share that would be never give up even when you find the situation you are in being hopeless. Keep trying to make changes until it gets you out of that numbness or desperation.

Now after coming back from a long way, I eager to start fresh again 🙂
Kicking off with a new site layout and design (still working in progress and it’s driving me nuts but I’m getting there 😳 ), I do look forward to fill more bubbles with my adventures and random (but awesome!) stories 😎

It’s good to be back.